Where Are the Good Men? Reawakening Purpose in a Generation of Drift
Good men still exist—and many of them are fathers. In a culture where young men are increasingly disengaged, there’s something quietly heroic about men who show up, lead with integrity, and raise their sons with vision. Dr. Leonard Sax, a family physician and cultural critic, confronts a growing epidemic: too many young men are opting out of achievement, intimacy, and responsibility. The result? Fewer marriages, more frustrated women, and a culture losing its sense of masculine purpose.
The Epidemic No One Wants to Name
Dr. Sax tells the story of a teenage boy who shrugged off real relationships in favor of digital fantasy. “Wouldn’t you rather be intimate with an actual woman?” Sax asked. The boy replied, “Ha! No.” That apathy is no longer unusual.
“We’re seeing a growing epidemic of young men who are not motivated to achieve in the real world.” — Dr. Leonard Sax
In 2006, a modest film called Failure to Launch captured this dynamic perfectly. The movie starred actor Matthew McConaughey who played a charming, unemployed thirty-something living at home—and audiences loved it. Sax understood why: we all know someone like that. Since then, the trend has only worsened.
The Education Gap and Its Cultural Cost
In higher education, the reversal has been stark. Fifty years ago, men outnumbered women 60–40. Now, women hold that lead. Some may cheer the swing, but Sax warns it’s fueling a relational mismatch.
“There are no longer enough good men to go around.” — Leonard Sax
This isn’t about entitlement—it’s about compatibility. A well-documented trend called “educational assortative mating” means women tend to seek partners with equal or higher achievement. As female ambition rises and male ambition stalls, long-term relationships become harder to sustain.
Marriage Rates Are Falling—But the Answer Isn't "Lower the Bar"
The instinct to blame women for being “too picky” misses the point. As Sax notes, telling women to “settle” is both unrealistic and unfair. Cross-culturally and historically, women seek men with a comparable level of drive and maturity. It’s wired into the relational equation.
So what’s the real answer? Inspire young men to rise.
Teach them that purpose is better than passivity. That responsibility can be a calling, not a burden.
Trusting Him, Shaping Me, Restoring Us
Trusting Him:
God’s design for manhood is rooted in responsibility, sacrifice, and strength—not dominance or detachment. Scripture affirms a vision of masculinity that blesses others and glorifies Him.
Shaping Me:
To form good men, we must cultivate habits of purpose early: work ethic, service, and self-control. These aren’t just traits—they are muscles to be trained, ideally in family and community life.
Restoring Us:
When boys become men of integrity, vision, and commitment, marriages flourish and families stabilize. A generation of good men builds the relational infrastructure our culture desperately needs.
How to Respond
- Challenge defeatist stereotypes about young men
- Set high expectations for boys in church, home, and school
- Model and teach masculine virtues like courage, responsibility, and restraint
- Encourage real-world goals, not digital escapism
- Disciple young men toward purpose and faith
Men Who Show Up Still Matter
In an age of drift, faithful men are quietly holding the line—building families, mentoring boys, and resisting cultural apathy. Their lives are proof that masculinity, rightly formed, is a gift. Let’s tell that story more often.
Want to go deeper? Explore more videos and resources that equip you to raise secure, resilient children at IdentityProject.tv/explore.
Think Biblically. Live Fully. Restore Boldly.
A world shaped by God’s truth starts with people shaped by Jesus. Access 200+ videos that equip you to think Christianly and bring renewal to the culture around you.